In its continuing effort to reduce its carbon footprint, the US Army is investigating the possibility of running its nuclear arsenal on bio-fuel. The army has long been concerned about that the impact of its inter-continental weapons on the environment. George Bush in understood to have ordered a full review on whether the nuclear missiles can be switched to more eco-friendly fuel. Bush stated “we have to protect this planet for our children & their children, and this measure would assist in significantly lowering the emissions of thermo-nuclear devices. I want people to realize that we in the United States are serious about saving the planet”

This is one of a series of possible steps by the US Army. Rumoured to be in development is a Hybrid Abrahams tank, which runs on normal fuel in combat situations and battery power for patrols, a bio-degradable land-mind (already coloured sensitively to blend with the surrounding environment), and grenades which explode with minimal noise pollution.

It is in understood that the US hopes that not only can it lower its emissions, but that it can make the combat zone a nicer place to be. This way it can attract more recruits, keep the civilians on-side, and show the enemy in a bad light. “I don’t think Al Qaeda care much for the environment, do you?” said one high-ranking US official.

Weapons manufacturers are watching the situation closely, looking to see whether this century will usher in cleaner, safer killing machines. “If you look at where we’ve come from” said the one industry insider “with the original weapons of war being very green – the sword, the axe and that wooden horse – it’s ironic that we should be coming full circle.

The Army has adopted a new phrase to reflect its new green stance: “Only kill the enemy, don’t kill our future”