Cristiano Ronaldo has been named the Football Worlds Biggest Twat, by his esteemed peers at the Associated Professional League of Football Twats.

This prestigious award follows hot on the heels of the Football Writers' Association and PFA awards that he has already collected, but a beaming Ronaldo added at a ceremony last night in London’s twatiest hotel, “this was one I wanted to win, I didn’t perform all those dives on the pitch to come 2nd here”.

Honorary President, Jose Mourinho, last years winner, added during the ceremony’s speech, which was translated later for those people who did not speak absolute rubbish, “All us fellow twats will have to be even more annoying, now the bar has been raised”.

The competition was stiff this year, with 2nd place going Didier Drogba, who at the ceremony was seen falling over like a dying swan every time a waiter brushed by him and 3rd went to William Gallas, who was distraught at not being first but found consolation in being awarded Footballs Biggest Cry-Baby

Ronaldo’s antics of throwing his arms in the air every time he was cleanly tackled, along with putting his hands together while looking up to the sky every time a referee’s decision went against him, was what swung it in the end for the judges, as well as just looking the part with his stupid smug smile and butter wouldn’t melt face.