The Mayor of London's office was surrounded by angry crowds of vegetables this morning, protesting at being associated with Paedophilia and bestiality.

Mayor Livingstone yesterday stated: “I don’t think anybody in this city will be shocked by what two consenting adults do, as long as you don’t include children, animals and vegetables.”

The spokesman for the protesting vegetables, a large suggestively-shaped turnip, said "It's outrageous! Why should anyone be shocked by what two consenting adults - or indeed sad and lonely individuals - do with us vegetables?"

"Yeah, that's right!" added a potato who looks like a set of male genitalia. "Ever since Esther Rantzen made me a star on 'That's Life' I have enjoyed a fulfulling life as a sex object with a series of consenting adults."

A beetroot blushingly commented that "Ken Livingstone is a hypocrite. He makes me boiling mad! He's always sticking up for minority rights when it suits him politically, But when he's under pressure personally, he gets all steamed up and appeals for sympathy by making cutting remarks about vegetables."

"Well he better watch out!" shouted a huge, knobbly carrot. "I have some incriminating photos of Ken in an extremely compromising position with a large cougette - and I'm not afraid to publish!"

As Mr Livingstone and his colleagues left the building they were subjected to a humiliating shower of peas.