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Doing anything at all causes cancer reveals study .

"The best thing to do is to stand still and do absolutely nothing ." says report .

mrlemoncurry :: Thu 1 Nov 14:13 :: Comment / reply

Thu 1 Nov 14:20

Might be worth pointing out that the biggest problem with extending your life by leading a healthy lifestyle is that you get your extra 10 years when you're 95, dribbling down your chin and pissing in a bag. is that really worth foregoing 60 years of bacon butties for?

TheBigYin :: Thu 1 Nov 14:20 :: Comment / reply

More bad news...

Cancer for everyone born 23 June - 23 July!!

behavedave :: Thu 1 Nov 14:25 :: Comment / reply

Scientists warm against previous advice

Scientists who previously suggested that 'standing still and doing nothing' was the best defence against cancer have had to clarify their statement.

Leading resercher Dr Ray said today that 'although standing still is a good defence you must be sure not to be standing in the way of sunlight, radio waves or mobile phone signals.' Dr Ray also warned of the danger of standing to close to the element Zinc but suggested that this was not 100% proven.

BenSherreard :: Thu 1 Nov 14:46 :: Comment / reply

Other signs of the zodiac to release their own deadly strains in bid for greater recognition

Aquarius wipes out entire Afrian village.

Gemini now found in 95% of hospital wards.

Asterix :: Thu 1 Nov 15:57 :: Comment / reply

 

Forum + voting by Paul Clarke, Folkestone Gerald