An alarming loophole in the advertising laws was exposed this week when a West Midlands school announced it has begun placing adverts on its pupils. The children are having popular brand names tattooed on their forehead, which is bringing in much needed revenue for the cash-strapped school.

‘It’s the perfect fundraiser,’ said John Ghent Headmaster of the Wolverhampton comprehensive. ‘It only came to light when our media studies class discovered that despite all the restrictions for advertising to children there were no rules about on children.’ Some adverts are even written in reverse, so the pupils read ‘Coca-Cola’ in their bathroom mirror first thing in the morning.

But local parents are outraged. ‘This is disgusting’ said Simon Langton father of Sophie 14. ‘My daughter is tattooed up to the eyeballs. The school is raising thousands from the like of McDonalds and Nike and if I had known about this loophole I would have cut a deal and got her done myself.’

But the school is unrepentant and claims that the temporary advertising tattoos give the children an identity and sense of community. ‘Those who are not sporting adverts seem to be suffering far more bullying and are attaining lower scores,’ explained Mr Ghent. ‘But local private tutors are now hoping to buy advertising space on their faces to catch the attention of their worried parents.’

This new injection of cash is turning what was becoming an under funded and tired comprehensive into a school with the latest technology and teaching aids. ‘Teenagers have had the Nike tick shaved into their head, or prominently worn designer labels,’ said Mr Ghent. ‘It’s a fairly small step to have some fat kid walking around with ‘Home of the Whoppa’ tattoed on his forehead.’

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