Following a challenge under Freedom of Information laws it will now be possible for anyone who pays tax to the UK Government to receive monthly statements detailing exactly where the money they give to the Exchequer is going. It follows a long campaign of ‘down the pub’ conversations on the subject, and most of the public surveyed have said they are happy that the extra work involved by Civil Service departments, and the extra cost that that implies, can be seen as ‘a necessary evil’ which they would be willing to ‘put a couple of quid towards’ in the hope of finding out what’s really going on.

Dave Pratchett of Winchester was delighted with the move and even more so when he found out that this week alone he’d paid for a few more rivets to be put in to make the casing of a corroding Trident missile safe, and that the rest of his weekly payment had gone on providing a better life for a family of Latvians who had just settled down in a local authority house in Bow.

‘That’s what it’s all about, you know,’ he said,’ I can now see that every penny’s been spent on worthwhile causes and it makes it so much easier when I see that my money is making a real difference to those in need and to the country as a whole. It almost makes me want to give more.’

And Denise Williams from Norwich was equally delighted to find out that apart from making a Northern Rock customer happy by providing the money to refund their charges, she’d also bought a couple of artillery shells which are destined to be used against the Taliban, although she has been advised she will have to pay extra Class 4 National Insurance contributions if she wants to be able to go out there and actually ‘let them off’ herself.

‘It’s a terrific week for the public’ said treasury official Norman Counter, ‘and everything the government does will now, rightly, be accountable as never before to the individuals who are stumping up the cash. The move was endorsed by the House of Lords, and in particular, by staunch advocate of the change Lord Farquharson-Smythe of Donnington, who expressed his enormous pride that revenue from his Shropshire estate had allowed for the NHS purchase of breast enhancements which have turned around the sad life of a depressive trans-sexual and asked when it would be possible to ‘sample the goods’.

But the public understand that some of the entries on their statements cannot be spoken about openly because to do so may prove a threat to National Security. Mr Pratchett revealed that some items are marked TS, for ‘Top Secret’, and said; ‘It would be foolish to talk about them out in the open, and I think it’s better that some things are kept out of the public eye. But you’ll have to excuse me now as I need to pop out for a fag with Pete for a moment as we need to talk about a secret purchase we’ve just made concerning the Government of Iran.’