An urgent demand for all chickens to cease laying eggs while they continue to be collected ‘for safe care’ by humans was dismissed as the ‘mad posturing of a paranoid and deranged group of left wing extremists’ by mainstream chicken opinion yesterday.

The radical Chicken Alliance has claimed for some time that humans have an ulterior motive in the generous provision of food and shelter for millions of hens and are not just doing it all out of the goodness of their own heart. ‘I think it’s sad that they can’t imagine the humans are just being kind. But the Alliance’s claims are so nutty, no moderate or sensible chicken could possibly entertain them for a moment’ commented Henrietta, a well-respected Rhode Island Red yesterday.

Contrary to what is generally accepted within the chicken community, the Chicken Alliance claim that farmers do not take eggs away so they can be kept safe and warm until they hatch. ‘These conspiracy theorists actually claim that the eggs are deliberately broken open. And what do they say the humans do with the precious contents inside? Get this – the humans eat them!’ recalled Henrietta to derisory laughter from fellow hens.

‘Just think for a minute what it would mean if it were true. It would require a conspiracy involving just about every human in the country. A plot to steal away our eggs and apparently boil them, and then smash the shells so they could ritually consume millions of little chicken eggs every single day of the week! I think some of those Chicken Alliance nuts might need a bit of therapy!’

Henrietta recently ceased to lay eggs and so was yesterday removed from the farm in order to enjoy a long and comfortable retirement at the ‘old chickens’ rest home’. ‘Or as those nutters in the Chickens’ Alliance would probably claim, to be deep fried and served up as King Size McNuggets or whatever!’ chuckled her sister to much amusement.